If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
