You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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