The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
