His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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