he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
