The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
