Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
