We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I have tasted many bathrooms
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
