so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
