dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
im holly from the hills drunk
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
