And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
