Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
