Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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