My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
