I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
