office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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