i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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