pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
She said her name was "party"
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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