hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
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