yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize