Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize