thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
