I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
and she was petting her beer can
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
