oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
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Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
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I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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