yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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