how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
