i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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