when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
