porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
