i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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