So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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