So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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