and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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