You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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