So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
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He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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