2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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