found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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