they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
