the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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