In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
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We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
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He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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