everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
