hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
