I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
