Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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