There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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