It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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