How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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