I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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