im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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