I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
