I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
