Sry I called you an 8
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
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