i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
That reminds me...we need to get swords
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
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He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
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Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
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