The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
