Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I need to sanitize my soul.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize