He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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