after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
